All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize