As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
