therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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