theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
