"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
