i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i out mim tonsoeep
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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