at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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