all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
