I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Buhtt sex?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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