I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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