singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
