spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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