Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
sarcasm needs its own font
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
