I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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