We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
