So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
