My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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