If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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