Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize