So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
