please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
