Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
