We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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