So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
