Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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