i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
