We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
