Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The adults are the big ones right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
