We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
