We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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