I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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