are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
