Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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