I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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