Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
