Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize