Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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