I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
