that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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