im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
