You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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