I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
