Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
