Acid is not a monday night drug
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
