Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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