It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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