yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
