No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My penis needs a shock collar
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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