Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
17 year olds will be the death of me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
