Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
