if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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