Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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