your thong is hanging out like whoa
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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