roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This is my gift to your gina
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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