i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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