Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
