I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
