He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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