Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
