Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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