It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
